One Flower in a Bunch of Fields

Hello, I’ve been avoiding this place for over a year now. I went through a very rough patch that I did not want to focus on my feelings, or tell my feelings for that matter. I’ve learned a lot in the past year. A lot was about myself, and the life ahead. I used to focus on working to distract myself from everything; working 80 hours a week, sleeping, eating and driving was all I did. I thought it was important to pay off my loans, to make money, save money, but this is not what life is about. Yes, I will have to pay my loans, but I can take as long as I need to. Friends, family, and I are my new focus. I’m learning to care for myself again; yes, I’m overweight but it is okay. It is more important to fix your insides before your outside. I’ll get there; where ever there is. I’m glad to be back.

Flowers will be paid for by my dad’s girlfriend, Mary.

Cake will be made by Joe’s mom for free. Just need to buy cake topper.

Unsure still, but being married by Jay’s aunt, for free.

Photography will be done by Joe’s sister Katt also for free.

Joe’s mom also will help with the cooking, therefore there will be enough people to not need to hire someone.

I like to know everything is going to be good. =]

I talked to my store supervisor about hours and working at two stores, he said he was going to figure out if I would be able to do that. Also I am becoming a crew trainer, which get paid 7.75 a hour… I know it is only .35 more a hour but when you work 5 days a week for 8 hours… 14 dollars extra a week. I know I am crazy but 14 dollars can help.

I also found out that my seasonal job at the ice cream store may have more shifts for me after all. We will see how things decide to go.

So… that’s my good news.

I am planning my own wedding, and even though it may be over a year away I want to make sure I get started now. I need to figure everything out beforehand, before we make a for sure date. Money is the only issue… So everything focuses on that.

Cake is free… and the justice of peace… but besides that cost is very rough… good thing I know and like cheaper ways around it.

I work a full time job getting paid only 7.40 a hour.

I went to school for 2.5 years and only been recognized as going for 1.5.

I am 30,000 dollars in debt and I am only twenty years old.

I’ve lost my animals either to a no kill shelter, death, or in foster care.

I cannot afford to pay my own car insurance or get my car registered in my name, therefore I live with my gramp who pays for it because I live here.

I owe 335 dollars every first of the month, for bills.

I pretend I am independent because I am paying for my phone, school, food and gas all on my own, but since I have to live with my family I don’t believe I  am.

There are millions of reasons I shouldn’t be getting married, or adopting a child, or even having pets, but I work my butt off so I can keep saving money so one day I will be debt free in my own house with my own children and own animals and be truly independent.

Even though most people don’t do it… I just feel like it is strange how rings work.

A girl wears a promise ring and an engagement ring, but a guy doesn’t wear a ring until he is married.

Why should the girl wear the ring? Girls would still think the guy is single unless his girlfriend is with him, or he actually talks to the girl and tells them he is taken.